Confessions 3 ( Only God Knows)

Last night history repeat itself, without of course any one of us wanting it to happen. But it requires a lot of reflection from both sides. Why did i keep doing what i did? Why did she keep doing what she did? Why both of us have to suffer so much in life? Why do we sacrifice a lot for each other? Why? Why? Would she ever know how i will feel? HAve i not know her enough to know better than to repeat the same things without having heartaches? I know i am wrong, guess i am selfish all this while, that is why i cant make people around me happy... My FamiLy, My Friends and last but not least But not least Important... My HAzura. It proves a lot that the one year is absolutely nothing and nothing much to be happy about i guess, not when we still have so much to learn about each other and realise each other's mistakes. I can understand when she said that she dont wanna make her parents be too hopeful, i know she always been scared that things might just really really realluy really go wrong in future. Blame it on our pasts and stubbornness. Maybe i am ego or maybe she just wont admit when she done sumthing, whats clear we r both to blame and we will be together to clear the mess that we made together. If she goes then i am gone too. Just have faith sayang, Hell for eternity is not worth it. Luv does not work that way for us. Our Love is suppose to get us to Heaven. U and me. Luv U Hazura. Lets pray that things wont repeat. I hope now u would somehow understand what i have been through. You may say i dont't care but i know you wont say the same things if you know how i was under the block yesterday. Only God knows each and everytime.

What kind Of Soul?

You Are a Retrospective Soul

The most misunderstood of all the soul signs.Sometimes you even have difficulty seeing yourself as who you are.You are intense and desire perfection in every facet of your life.You're best described as extremely idealistic, hardworking, and a survivor. Great moments of insight and sensitivity come to you easily.But if you aren't careful, you'll ignore these moments and repeat past mistakes.For you, it is difficult to seperate the past from the present.You will suceed once you overcome the disappoinments in life. Souls you are most compatible with: Traveler Soul and Prophet Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Oh Where Oh Where Can My Baby Be?

She seems to be getting more sick . I am so worried. I SMSed her but getting no reply... i wonder what is she doing now.. As usual i am feeling tired especially after sending offf my aunt and her husband at the airport. They should be at Mekkah by now to perform their Haj. Long day today and i hate the stupid person who set this timetable who could have put the lecture and tutorial one after another instead of having another pathetic break. I am all alone and have nothing to do, Well back to her, is she ok? She didn't reply to my last message. Is she like offended about something that was in the message or anything? Syg can u please reply, im really worruied about you , do u ever know that? I want to go down there if you don't reply , even though you would not let me. Syg please? I miss you..... I want to be around you and make you feel better, i can't leave you all alone with you in this state... I love you Zura..... WHere can you be?

TuesDay Blues

Wow... first day of school of yet another new week. Yesterday took MC cause having diarrhoea..is that how u spell it? Haiyah dunnoelah... Today seems so lethargic, cant wait to meet her again, but then there has been change of plans so i dunnoe what we will do after our dinner together. Next week is my term test.. ARGHHHHHH!! Somebody help me... I think i am going crazy liao~ That is why i need my Siti with me, she keeps me sane. We both are the same , we dun have Net at home so have to wait for weekdays lor.. Sian lah in school. My body is still sore. Studies, projects seems to much to handle, if she is not with me i think i would have long time given up by now... Syg I try not to be late later, but r we still taking the Loveghetty thang? Missing You rite now so MUcccHHHH~ Luv u Baby~

When Love Is There To Embrace You

What a waste of my time. I woke up early today but it proves to be a waste cause the class was cancelled. I thought i was late at first. Now here i am doing nothing and feeling sleepy, but thinking of which to study first and i keep thinking of her. Yesterday she wanted to see me, saying that she wanted to give me the cd that she burnt. Besides, we always miss each other that we want to meet everyday.Never did i thought that she got other plans on her mind. She brought me to 77th Street and bought me a bracelet. Its a nice one. I am wearing it now and everytime i look at it, the more i misss her. Well that is why i say, when there is love, other things seem so small. Syg, don't forget k this Tuesday? I cant wait to go out with you again. Long Time never take pic with you...Love you so much syg!

Round and Round and Round

I woke up late today, having not nough time to really absorb what is needed for the quiz. I cant blame anyone else, should have started earlier. I woke up with my body sore, and my head is so heavy that i wish i can just go back to bed. I admit it was my fault, my mistakes that could cost me to get more happiness in life, my love life. If it was not for my past, maybe she would not be feeling so terrible. How i wish i can turn back time, so that we can start it over again... to have a clean start and i dun get attached too many times... But that is all it is, just my wishful thinking. I know words mean nothig if actions dont come along with it. Im not trying to be egoistic but sometimes i dont get it... Why do i always get the blame? Why do i have to always be the one asking myself what i have done and to realise what have i done wrong? Is everything my mistake alone? Maybe it is... and im being punished for it. Having to live with the guilt all my life.
There has never been another choice before i got with her. She was not a second choice for me, was not, not and never will be. She would not know that anyway. She keeps comparing , but never see it in a larger view. If that is my mistake, im really sorry, but sorry means nothing to her. She is sick of my appologies. She is sick of me asking what she wants. I never ask for anything for other than not to just expect me to understand her, but for her to understand when is the moment i can break down, when i am easily pissed off, etc. It's ok, it wont matter to anyone, but me. If only God can tell her whats in my heart and my mind which i cant let out to her, in fear that things will get worse in those moments. The quiz was ok but maybe i didnt get the questions right. It sux isnt it. I cant wait for lectures to be over so i can continue with my research in peace and then rush home to change my slippers tha keep squeking before i go down to Woodlands to meet her, my dear. I am missing u rite now, haiz didnt even get to charge my hp. Syg wait for me ok? Im sorry if what ever i said or wrote is wrong but im just telling you how i feel. It's ok if you cant accept it.. I will try harder in order to avoid these things from happening again and again like it is until this morn'.... =( LOve you baby!