What is It going to Be?

It's the last day of school. But rest assured it won't be the same as past years where you can enjoy and juz slack around after everything is up and over with. The fear that i feel, that i have to face and maybe live with all my life. What will happen next is not clear to me. I wonder what will happen to me in a few years time. Whatever i do in life never sems enough, what seems so near but yet so far, what i thought i can reach yet i can't even grab it by the horns. Im waiting for a bigger miracle in my life after Azura came into it. sumthing that will make us both much much happier together. Sumthing we can depend on. Last night was a nother disaster and as always, i am the cause. Should have been more wise and sensitive towards her. I admit i am selfish, thinking that what i feel is more important. I have been thinking about it since the moment i woke up today , it is true that i tried to be the best that i can, but never tried hard enough to be the best for her. My eyes still feel swollen after all that crying. My head still hurts coz of not enough sleep. My heart keeps beating so fast that i can feel it almost jump out of my chest. This thing i will not put to rest, till the day of my eternal rest. The more we quarrel, the more i feel closer to her. I need her more than i ever did last time. I dont know what will i do if i don't have her to be my side, to be my strength, to be my eyes, to be the brain. Man i feel so helpless. I am so useless. Things will change, and i better make sure of that, coz i know she may not say it.. but i am sure she will leave if i dont do sumthing about my pathetic life. I love you more than i love any of those gerls i been with syg even more than i love my own life. Love You Till the day i die. See U tomorrow k? Muackz~