tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94412552011-04-22T04:55:45.589+08:00Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.comBlogger521100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-67400004561687183292009-03-21T18:08:00.001+08:002009-03-21T18:09:37.947+08:00It's been so long since i last updated this.. but anyways if there are still people reading this...<br /><br />zura and i are already married, close to a mth now...<br /><br />I pray hard that i will never lose her..<br /><br />Married life makes me more complete than i have ever imagined...<br /><br />Till then...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-6740000456168718329?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-53424302929034444122008-10-13T22:20:00.002+08:002008-10-13T22:24:55.452+08:00At this point of time, I am just utterly depressed, sick, tired and all of that.<br />Why do I always get the blame for everything...?<br />I mean i tried to be the best that I can, but instead all people see are my flaws rather than my strengths.<br /><br />I tried to make it up to them, but they are making it difficult for me..<br />They always LOVE to make it such a BIG issue...<br />Indeed, Life has just started, And So is my biggest depression...<br /><br /><br />This Could Be My Last POST...<br /><br /><br />ALIVE...<br /><br />So Cherish Ur LIfe, Cherish Ur LOved Ones..<br />I LOVE YOU...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-5342430292903444412?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-72490101281096002932008-04-19T08:46:00.002+08:002008-04-19T08:55:32.353+08:00Today is my last day at work.<br />And i still do not feel at peace.<br />Yesterday they asked me to take care of the cell,<br />and i ended up into doing more work.<br />Something that i do want, something that i am not familiar with.<br /><br />I regretted for doing that. Should have just laid back and relax.<br />I mean it's my last 2 days, not supposed to be worried.<br />Instead, i am worrying again.<br />Hope i do not have to follow up and today ends fast.<br /><br /> I really just want to get really fast out of here.<br />I want to start with my new job, and start life anew...<br />As i look at the time, i realise there is about 11 hours more to go.... more time wasted.<br />I do not need to be here in the first place. If i did not have things to settle yesterday,<br />I would have taken MC.<br /><br />Since i have been working here, i am always not feeling well.<br />I can't cope with the stress, being alone most of the time too.<br />Hope my new job will be much better.<br />Working here is really a mistake.<br />I realise that i do not get along well with most of them, or maybe all of them.<br />And that includes the supervisor.<br /><br />My fiancee is going to JB now, haizz.... how i miss her so much.<br />Hope she comes back soon, and i don't have anything to do here.<br />So, i can spend the rest of the day with her.<br /><br />I will be counting the hours till that moment comes....<br />Till then....<br /><br /><br />My life continues.....<br />In the next Chapter....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-7249010128109600293?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-81134181357578500072008-04-09T13:53:00.002+08:002008-04-09T14:05:15.028+08:00Today is a very stressful day.<br />Lots of work to be done.<br />Some people take their own sweet time...<br /><br />I'm Gonna be shagged tonight.<br />No late nights.<br /><br />Just hope can finish my work on time.<br />I don't want to be rushing all the time....<br />5 more days....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-8113418135757850007?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-14755226390147589322008-04-08T09:43:00.002+08:002008-04-08T09:49:45.266+08:00Today is yet another day.<br />I'm left with 6 more days here.<br />Can't wait to get out of here.<br /><br />I mean, there is really no point of me being here.<br />Nothing more to learn, nothing to do.<br />No one wants me to help with anything, even if i offered my help.<br />Wasting my time...<br /><br />This is worse than going to school.<br />At least in school we have an objective, although we don't get paid.<br />If the only the other offer had came earlier or maybe later.<br />Then my life won't be this miserable.<br />10 hrs is really along time. Looking forward to the end of the day.<br />And of course meeting my lovely fiancee.<br />God i really missed her.<br /><br />I didn't get to talk to her last night...<br />As a result, i couldn't really get a good sleep.<br />Maybe I would go to the gym again later...<br /><br />Don't know whether this is considered a good life or not...<br />People are paid to do work, but i am paid to be here and build muscles..<br />HAHAHAHAH!<br /><br />Hope today pass by very quickly... after 2 more days... Then will be my off day.<br />Looking forward to the 'makan' session this Saturday..<br />Hope it's confirmed.<br /><br />Till we meet again...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-1475522639014758932?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-75730891790502020832008-03-31T11:27:00.003+08:002008-03-31T11:36:42.093+08:00Today is just another plain boring day at work.<br />I just asked one of the senior engineers on what i can do to help during my remaining days here.<br />Guess what he told me.<br />To stick around one of my collegues and ask them if they need any help.<br />What a waste of time indeed. How helpful is that answer.<br /><br />Nobody wants me to help aound with anything.<br />If they had wanted to, i wouldn't be sitting around and going around like a beggar asking for work to do.<br />Time remains slow, and pretty much, i have run out of things to do.<br />Can't help feeling that coming here is a waste of time and money.<br />And not to mention that finishing up my cigarrettes too.<br /><br />What i can do now is spend most of the time going to the gym or just reading.<br />Let's just hope that will help kill the time.<br />I just cannot wait to get out of this place.<br />It's a good thing that after this will be 3 off days.<br /><br />3 weeks and counting....19 days to my last shift...<br />To be more exact, i have 9 more working days.<br />How i wish i had bought a PSP.<br />Then i can just disappear for hours outside.<br /><br />8 more hours to go.<br />Wish the govt post had called me up earlier.<br />So that i didn't have to put up with this...<br /><br />Till next time...<br />Till just another day....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-7573089179050202083?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-18145740523868953532008-03-26T09:35:00.002+08:002008-03-26T09:59:46.287+08:00It's been a while since i last updated my post here...<br />But doesn't matter since nobody is reading it anyways...<br />Lots of things had happened...<br /><br />It has been 3 months since i ORD, and i did not get into POLICE.<br />Wow.. what a letdown for someone who they have been saying good things about.<br />During stay in camp.. life was a living hell, with all those bastards never seem to stop bugging me. Pissing me off like nobody's business..<br />Just what the fuck did i do to deserve all that.<br />And i realised after seeing one of them outside, that they just seem to have a problem with me..<br />Well guess what. I don't give a fuck about you guys anymore!<br />You are just pieces of monkey crap who is trying to put me down, so that you will feel good about yourself. You are just envious that you can't even be half the man that i am.<br /><br />After Pass Out, life was much better. Made new friends who i still keep in touch with.<br />And now, after months of lazing my ass around...<br />I am finally working. But am i working?<br />Definitely not. Every day i come here and basically wasting my time.<br />Time that i can use for other useful things.<br />Well, people might think and ask.<br />Isn't it good to just slack around doing nothing but still get paid?<br />Well, i am not that kind of person.<br />When people pay me to work, i make sure that i do it the best that i can.<br />I don't want to get paid for nothing.<br /><br />Anyways, i tendered last week, cause i got another job offer in the government sector.<br />A more secured job they say. But that is still a month's time away.<br />Till then i am stuck here, living life miserably.<br />I don't know why, but no matter where i go, whether it be in school or work place.<br />I never felt like i was part of the gang. I am always an outcast.<br /><br />Today, that feeling just got stronger.<br />Here I am, sitting in front of this PC, letting all my frustrations out.<br />Frustrations that i held inside. Things that most people won't understand.<br /><br />Frustrated that why i got this job in the first place if i am not going to stay.<br />Frustrated that why people treat me differently just because i am being me.<br />Frustrated that why i can't be more capable like other people.<br />Frustrated that why people don't seem to able to help when i need it.<br />Frustrated that time is always not on my side.<br />Frustrated that i have to be here, just because of the sake of it.<br /><br />Since i was young, i am full of anguish, frustrations.<br />Full of envy for other people who simply have better lives than me.<br />I tried to better myself, so strive harder to achieve all my goals.<br />But i'm struggling as always. Up till now.<br /><br />In less than a year, I will be getting married to the love of my life, who has always been behind me since Day 1.<br />I really want to make this work.<br />For us, i will hang on.<br /><br />But i am really at a loss as to what I will do when i'm here.<br />I rather be somewhere else now.<br />Somewhere where i can just relax and get away from all this.<br /><br />Life is like that. You don't a;ways get what you want.<br />But i will work hard for what i want.<br />And that is to be with her.<br />For my love for her, i will stay strong.<br /><br />Until then, the frustrations of being here will still remain......<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-1814574052386895353?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1154928324633533152006-08-07T13:08:00.000+08:002006-08-07T13:25:24.646+08:00Why life sometimes seem so unfair?<br />Why sometimes you are like an outsider to your own family?<br />Why sometimes other people who are not related to you by blood treats you more like family?<br />Why because of other people's problem, we have to be the one suffering?<br />Why people can't see the god you done but instead look at your flaws?<br />Why is it that sometimes we work so hard to earn a living but in the end we don't get to enjoy it?<br />Why is it when something good is on the way, bad things are always bound to happen ?<br />Why is life full of questions but yet some questions are filled with blanks?<br /><br />What did I do wrong to deserve this?<br />What is the problem that other people have with me?<br />What must i do to stop all these nonsense?<br />What is the solution to all my miseries?<br />What can i do to make them understand that i need to save up for my future?<br />What can i do in order not to hurt their feelings?<br />What is FAIR??<br /><br />Who is to blame for all my miseries?<br />Who is the cause of my pain?<br />Who can i turn to besides my love and ALLAH?<br />Who can change all these things that are happening in my life?<br /><br />How can i face them with this kind of situation?<br />How will my life turn out in the end?<br />How can they do this to me?<br />How can they make me suffer for all my life?<br />How dare they make me depressed when i am about to be so happy about getting engaged?<br /><br />Where does justice lie?<br />Where is the support when i need it most?<br />Where will i be in future?<br />Where is my happiness ?<br /><br />I hope i will get the answers, i don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life.....<br />To those people, i'm sure they know who they are....<br />For people who has always been behind me... THANK YOU!<br />For your prayers and support...<br /><br />I Hope my Future is a Bright One...<br />With My one and Only Zura....<br />That's all i'm asking for...<br />To be with her till end of time<br />InsyaALLAH....<br /><br />ALLAH bless me with the protection, guidance and strength...<br />For me to pass through this life full of challenges...<br />Lead me through the right path<br />And not the lost ones...<br />Amin...<br /><br />Zura, I love you so much and being with you is my dream...<br />My greatest wish... My desire and my destiny...<br />Pray for us ok syg?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-115492832463353315?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1153544212551861912006-07-22T12:52:00.000+08:002006-07-22T12:56:52.566+08:00It's been so long, since i last updated my blog....<br />Well now posted at NPC sumwhere in East side of SG...<br />Life is pretty tough.. especially now my syg is not around in Singapore......<br />No one i can confide in, no one i can really be myself with,<br />Don't hear her laughter, can't see her smile, her voice...<br /><br />Past few days r really killing me... I just want u to come back Ayg...<br />Abg miss U so Much!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-115354421255186191?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1145108792759149592006-04-15T21:45:00.000+08:002006-04-15T21:47:18.133+08:00It's been 4 months since i was enlisted.<br /><br />4 months of physical hell.<br /><br />More importantly, 4 months of mental hell....<br />Living with bastards.<br /><br />Now already pass out but still staying in for residential training.<br />A course for SSO.<br /><br />What? Oh.. It means Senstry Security Officer. A very tough job. First line of defence.<br />Life gets tougher, and we get scared to face the future. That's what i am facing now.<br />Wonder what future that lies ahead of me.<br /><br />I truly feel that i appreaciate life more now... and i must not be alone in doing stuffs. It's all about being together and working together. Life has made me into a better man.<br /><br />Yesterday, Zura and I, together with our best friend Khair went to the beach together. The weather was all fine and all.. with the Sun shining brightly on us, but not for long.<br />The weather changed like in an instant. Rain drops staring to fall bit by bit and then really heavy.<br /><br />We were in the tent, but still we got drenched.. Hahahhaha! It's a good thing that i did'nt fall sick for i won't be able to see Zura again today.<br />We were planning to go play badmointon today at a court near her house.<br />But alas, the same thing happened. Heavy rain... so we had to cancel our plans.<br /><br />Haizzz... tomorrow i have to go back to HTA. Here we go again.... How i wish life would be much better in future.<br /><br />anyways, i'm counting down the days till December comes. An important date to note. December 24th 2006.<br />We'll see and find out when the time comes how things will be like ok Ayg?<br /><br />May we last, till time is gone..<br /><br />Love You! WOoohoooo!<br /><br />Rock Never Dies!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-114510879275914959?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1136203217977824762006-01-02T19:52:00.000+08:002006-01-02T20:00:18.550+08:00It's been another short weekend, and i will be back in camp in morning tomorrow.. That dreadful feeling never stops bugging me.<br /><br />Well i better not say too much, like in camp, things are as per normal, u noe all that physical training and torture. I tell you i almost had a mental break down if it was not for lovely Hazura who never stops believing and being there for me as always. Well, booked out from HTA on Fri and spent the whole day at home on Saturday.<br /><br />Yesterday i went down with Hazura and her family and helped out at her cousin's wedding. It was not that tough but tiring though as i had to spend most of my time on my feet carrying my weight that is equivalent to shawn michaels i guess?<br /><br />Well here i am spending some more time with my lovely Hazura.... I noe im gonna miss her loads... and i cannot wait for another weekend to arrive... I really need that. And oh yah.. before i go... i am disappointed coz i still don't get to see her wearing the long skirt that i bought for her...<br /><br />Anyways sayang, hope to see you wear it next week when we go out ok? Love you so much<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-113620321797782476?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1135434407060659092005-12-24T21:47:00.000+08:002005-12-24T22:26:47.106+08:00I'm back after 10 days of confinement... it's been one hell of a week..<br />Every morning i have to get up so damn early just to do PT.. and mind you it's 3 times per day...<br />I tell you ar everyday can vomit.... everything also can come out ar..<br /><br />My arms and feet were sore... but now i can finally enjoy but only for a while. Today is my 2nd year anniversary with Azura. But the funny thing is we didnt get to go watch movie or anything like that, but went to Beach Rd to get some stuffs for NS.<br /><br />i feel bad for her as it's suppose to be a special day for us.. I hope she liked the prezies i bought for her.. She's with me right now and i hope she will know that i love her so much and i remember her each and every minute and very second and every beat of my heart while i was in camp.<br /><br />I was waiting like crazy for yesterday as i finally get to "AWOL legally" or in other words book out. While i was in camp i thought i will never get to see the world ever again.. HaHAHA... Too dramatic huh? Well what to say.. Org Drama lah katakan...<br /><br />Well, i better enjoy my 3 days of freedom while i still can, i need to spend as much time as i can with Azura.... And my family.... And i suck at dividing time... I hope i did neither one injustice in this....<br /><br />Heard that her ex came back into her life... post comments on her blog, asking for forgiveness.. i thought when i get back , i would get to see what he typed but instead, the Bon jovi fan sick coward deleted everything that i heard about from his blog... maybe he is scared that i might blow up or sumthing... or maybe he's just damn fucking lying... well maybe not everything.... But most of it...<br /><br />Well im sure he knows the link to my blog and hope he is man enough to face the truth and face me.... and i dare him to show up here and give his side of the story... Unless he aint got the balls to... and wants me to think of him as a fucking hypocrite and fucking coward....<br /><br />It's all because of you, i had to go through a lot to convince Azura that i'm not fcking ard with her... And to tell you the truth, if you ever do anything to hurt her again... I'm gonna find you where ever you may be....<br /><br />And jgn nk step cool ok Mat? Better gain some more weight and gain respect from people around us, if you want to have a more meaningful life... Don't fucking beat around the bush and act baik... Jgn jadi Munafik beb.... Kata lain buat lain.<br /><br />That's all for now before i bore everyone with this story....<br /><br />Akhir kata,<br />Hidup biar beradat, agar mati org ingat.<br />Kalau kata, jgn tak buat, kalau tak mulut korang ibarat jubo di pantat.<br />Bual taik ar Lu...<br />Bnyk bual bnyk bohon.<br /><br />peace. till next time... Hidup Metal!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-113543440706065909?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1133008084136015362005-11-26T20:28:00.000+08:002005-11-26T20:28:04.163+08:00It's been a long time since i last updated my blog.. well, since i have graduated and i can no longer use the comp in school and no internet @ home....<br /><br />Just came back from Batu Pahat, kampung of Zura's dad's uncle. Only had 1 hr plus of sleep and still awake till now.. But wonder till when. Had fun there, with Zura, her family and also Pak Busu's family... her dad's youngest brother.<br /><br />We played the "bunga api" or sparklers( is that wat it is called?) hahahah anyways yah had fun....<br />Karaoke most of the time, till my throat gets sore.<br /><br />I'm gonna miss Zura and all that, as in 17 days time, i will be going for NS at the Police Academy.<br />Hell is not exactly enough to describe how would life be then.<br /><br />Hope my wish of getting engaged will be a reality sooner than later.... and the time i have will make me prepared for marriage.<br /><br />I'm gonna miss U syg, Love U so much and I will never go away from U.<br />U r my Love, Now and Forever.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-113300808413601536?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1130746592622272892005-10-31T16:18:00.000+08:002005-10-31T16:16:32.640+08:00It's been a whole since i was here.. well it seems i won't get to update much since i won't be able to use the comp in school anymore.. so... to the people who has been reading my blog.. thank you.<br /><br />Last Friday me, Zura, Khair, his friend and the girlfriend went to break our fast together at Joo Chiat. After that we went shopping looking for new clothes and other stuffs. I got mine. It was nice, with the 'samping' and all.. definitely...<br /><br />Well Raya is coming soon, and i wish everybody.. Selamat Hari Raya...!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-113074659262227289?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1129187974758780542005-10-13T15:21:00.000+08:002005-10-13T15:19:34.773+08:00Well It's been along time alright... We are in the fasting month right now, and i sincerely believe that i am just just plain too tired and lazy to give this blog an update. A long one that is.<br /><br />So just to keep things short, let me just update u with things that u guys should know, or maybe want to know what's been going down the past weeks. Last week i just finished my supplementary paper, and i checked on the website that the results will be out, TOMORROW!!<br /><br />YES!! YES!! TOMORROW!! A lot of suprising things happening, that i did not expect to happen so soon.... Like the other suprise..<br /><br />Exactly 1 week from now, you guys won't see me updating the blog, well maybe when i have time and i am at Zura's house. Why you may ask? Well i am not getting any younger am I?<br /> Of Course i will be going for National Service...<br /><br />Gerak Gerak GErak Khas! Hahahhaha Gonna miss everyone alright, esp Zura and my Mum.<br />Those people who have been around for me thanks and i hope to see you guys soon after that. CHowz! \m/ (( = .= )) \m/<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-112918797475878054?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1127459534999633102005-09-23T15:14:00.000+08:002005-09-23T15:12:15.003+08:00I received the SMS for my exams results 3 hrs earlier.. bad luck.. No difference from what went down for my term test.<br /><br />A bit stressed up, tired actually still having to crack my brains one last time, when i am already so close to the Diploma that i need so much for my future with her.<br /><br />Waiting to meet her again tomorrow to help the dad to paint the house...<br /><br />Hope second time is the charm..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-112745953499963310?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1126237511860722962005-09-09T11:46:00.000+08:002005-09-09T11:45:11.866+08:00Finally exams has ended but my Hell has not.... Obviously i am not too confident about passing the exams although i am hoping still that i will....<br /><br />Feeling so low right now, later going mosque to pray then meet my syg in afternoon.. Haizz this is when i need her most... Hope i wont be bothering her...<br /><br /> Love you dear, bear the hardship with me ok?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-112623751186072296?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1125373506741182952005-08-30T11:46:00.000+08:002005-08-30T11:48:10.536+08:00Finally after what seems like eternity of waiting, the moment finally arrived. The one that i had been missing badly last week came back. My Hazura came back!<br /><br />Well in case you people get the wrong ideas about what's going on, let me clarify things even further to you people who have been reading my blog ( that is if there are others than My HAzura) . She was gone for a day which for seem to be a week..! It was really hard being far away from your loved one..... Haizzz...<br />In Case you are thinking where did she go.. well she went 'balik kampung' somewhere in Johor..<br /><br />It's the study week right now.. Man i gotta lotsa things to do and lotsa catching up. I missed alot.... My body is still aching from Sunday... I am still sleepy and tired but this is regarading my future... so people if u need a role model take me as one ok? Hahhahahaha Just kidding...<br /><br />Just less than 7 days now... Wish me luck people.. pray that after the long years i have spent in school i will finally get what i have been working for.. DIPLOMA. A pathetic piece of pape that costs so much... hahahah but that is life....<br /><br />Anyways i will be back in future.. InsyaALLAH....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-112537350674118295?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1124853390333457322005-08-25T14:09:00.000+08:002005-08-25T14:07:42.180+08:00Wednesday, Aug 24th. It has been a year and 8 months since we first got together. Problems we faced, trauma we felt. Pain, anger all mixed together. Happiness when the times we spent together can never be replaced with any other. I know she is the One.<br /><br />One day after, the feeling still there. Meeting her later.. man i can't wait i really miss her... Syg wait for me ok? Luv you so much......<br />Thanx for the poem or watever you call it.. hehehhe<br /><br />Till this day.. I have never stopped loving you! Cant wait for December~<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-112485339033345732?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1123472104961537922005-08-08T11:36:00.000+08:002005-08-08T11:35:04.970+08:00Wooo hooo~ i am back~<br /><br />Been some time since i last updated my blog. How has it been? Hope u all have read the bastard's blog... what a waste of space.. must be a person who does not get tender loving care from the parents... Anyways.. up and over with with that.. if any of u out there have any news about webbies or other blogs like this please update me too.... It deserves to be spread and tell people out there racism is what has been starting war for decades all around the world...<br /><br />Anyways, what i wanna tell you is that Saturday, August 6 is definitely the historic day of my life up to date... But nothing will beat when i get married to the love of my life ar.. But that has to wait...<br />All the money spent was worth it except for the food and drinks that is.. Imagine $3.00 for nasi ayam.. but the rice is so damn little and $1.50 for can drink... just like at my work place...<br />The tickets and t-shirt was sure damn worth it! Wooo Hoooo!<br /><br />We reached at 3 plus and never expected to meet my cousins although i was sure to see my rocker friends around. I nvr ecen thought to meet my TP friends there.. one of them is Izal, vocalist of Suicidal.<br /><br />We waited and sat for like what seems like eternity. my back was hurting and my butt was getting camps hahah but then Yamakashii came on stage and heat things up..! The drummer is superb man! Sang my fav song from May. Cintamu Mekar DiHati. Then came Metalasia... Powerful performance...! XPDC... Yantzen, Amuk~ Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah~~!! and of course the one i have been waiting for the whole time... WINGS~!!!!<br /><br />Brought back so many old memories of the 80's.... that was when rock and metal music the strongest.. and songs like Hukum Karma, Jerangkung Dalam Almari, R'n'R Lu punya Suka,Sejati.. and favourite till today.. TAMAN RASHIDAH UTAMA! But Then , sadly enough SYakilla was missing....<br /> We had fun, me and Zura... And although i don't know any one of them there other than the ones i mentioned, we hold on to to each other, jumping up and down and headbanged together , we all got together like one family~ Maybe we should do this more oftern ... And honestly my neck still hurts~ Hahahahha! I dun have any pics to upload.. HAhaha coz all the pictures was taken using Zura's cuz's digicam... Anyways maybe it will be up soon so just wait for the next one alright....?<br /><br />Rock never dies~~~ Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah~~!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-112347210496153792?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1123047065803106482005-08-03T13:31:00.000+08:002005-08-03T13:31:05.810+08:00<a href="http://www.thesecondholocaust.blogspot.com/">http://www.thesecondholocaust.blogspot.com/</a><br /><br />You Guys Gotta check this out....Some asshole...think he's fucking smart<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-112304706580310648?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1122263756210685742005-07-25T11:55:00.000+08:002005-07-25T11:55:56.216+08:00After two weeks it happened again. The disaster feared by alll thos in love.. Yesterday she was crying beacause shhe was jealous of my closeness with my friend at work...<br /><br />I hope she is fine now... working i hope she got the rest that she needed....<br />I am sorry if i am not that good enough still ..<br />But i will never leave u anymore...<br /><br />I Love U Dear...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-112226375621068574?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1121738354609333212005-07-19T10:00:00.000+08:002005-07-19T09:59:14.616+08:00This morning i discovered that i failed one of my term test paper, QE.. i got 35 out of 75.. How pathetic is that? I'm still waiting to get results for 3 other papers.. i hope i didnt do too badly...<br />Kinda sleepy today.. maybe because i didn't have enough rest as i have been kinda working extra the past week even though it was the term break.. but as u guessed it maybe... No breaks at all!<br /><br />It's only the 2nd day of school today after reopening.Back to the same old things. Have to think and focus.. That's what i keep telling myself. I just hope that my tiredness would never get in the way. Tomorrow is also the deciding day.<br /><br />I was on the phone with my dear syg last night.. she was kinda depressed you know with the new job and all.. and i'm pretty sure no job is easy and hers surely was not.. She was so worried that she cannot cope with things. And me being the Superman in her life(Hahahah!) came to the rescue.. and keep telling her .." You Can Do It!" Hahahahhaha. Remember that syg?<br /><br />She was also kinda having a bad headache.. now she's busy at work.. i really hope that she is feeling better today. I am so worried about her. She had to work long hours. So i hope she will get her well deserved rest when she gets home today. She needs it badly.<br />Please take care syg..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-112173835460933321?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1121326240870584452005-07-14T15:33:00.000+08:002005-07-14T15:31:24.096+08:00Its' almost been a week since the incident, and it's still etched in my head what went down... and it went down pretty bad. Both were badly affected and somehow oneself can feel so lost and low that oneself can even turn oneself's back towards the other... How oneself want the other to find for some other because thinking oneself is holding the other one down. Damn! What was on this person's mind? Well like always either that oneself is too slow or like the other said, always have to be the other have to come and solve things.<br /><br />Well i hope things are finally solved now, well at least trying to pick up the pieces and try to be whole again like they used to... Still working on school and projects.. Attended her graduation this past Monday. Man i am so proud of her to be able to get through all those obstacles within a year, unlike someone who took almost like a Normal Academic student to graduate.<br /><br />She got a new job and today is her last training day... So she's starting tomorrow. Hope she will get the hang of it and enjoy her new job. The pay is quite good. I just hope in meantime she can also get a job that she really wanted, that is with the AVA. All the best Sayang.....<br /><br />Been refelcting on my life lately.. how selfish i have always been... How egoistic i am sometimes...<br />and how i shouldn't be taking things for granted and how people shouldn't take me for granted too. I have my feelings and pride too. Ain't no beast with no feelings...<br />With that being said, just hope the change will be permanent.. i hate it when i hurt that someone unintentinally. I really Hate it... Trust Me... Trust Me Please... 100% from you is what i need.. Love U..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-112132624087058445?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1118296868380145382005-06-09T14:03:00.000+08:002005-06-09T14:01:08.386+08:00Feelings come, feelings go. Tell me that it isn't so.<br />For the past 17 yrs of my life, i have been invisible to my friends and people around me..<br />they don't seem to notice my very existence...<br />Why am i so unlucky..? I was sitting at the coffeeshop and sat across some people that i know from school... Well guess what? Only SOME of them saw me and acknowledged my presence...<br />I don't know if there is something they don't like about me or they just don't bother about me... Why must it always be this way? I feel so alone.. having no one that i can really call FRIENDS...<br /><br />Friends that i can really rely on when i am depressed, someone to talk to... Someone to share my happiness.....<br />The only friends i have is myself and Hazura....<br />Why is my life this way? Why they treat my like freaking shit...? They would only call me when they need favours, but when they are having fun... they would not bother to...<br /><br />Guess i am unlike other guys, who are so popular and noticeable... those who people look up to...<br />Hope things will change for us when i finish school...<br />Hopinhg to get great buddies when i join the Force..<br /><br />Hazura, i hope you will stand my every decision and understand why sometimes i feel low...<br />You do complete my life, but like you i do need friends too rite syg?<br />Just wait for the BIG Day ok? Love ya till the End..<br /><br />Lost and Found,<br />What goes around comes around.<br /><br />Cherish and Love Always people, coz u never noe when THAT day will come, and living in regrets is dreadful.....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-111829686838014538?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1118030127875809462005-06-06T11:56:00.000+08:002005-06-06T11:55:27.883+08:00Back again in school , i am so listless and tired.... been working hard the past two days that i can feel my back almost breaking into two.... Talked to my lovely wife till wee hours and losing lotsa sleep and working like crazy made me sick. Luckily im feeling better now but now im kinda in a daze coz i started school early..<br /><br />Well my parents came back earlier than expected and uh.. yah lucky for me coz don't have to be hungry no more and lonely no more ( LoL, im sure my syg gets what i may be saying here) . Well one of my cousins, daughter to my youngest makcik on my mum's side is going to be operated. I just pray that things will go smoothly. Im going there later after school.. hope Zura won't mind...<br /><br />I decided that i will change for the better for our future, so in order to motivate myself to study when i m feeling down, i can look at her pictures that i put inside my file, and not only that.. also a card that she wrote for me in order to motivate me to study harder and don't slack around like the professional slacker i used to be... I don't have to look elsewhere for a wife and certainly i don't need a second wife, Zura is my first, last,only, forever my wife, be it this life or life after death. Only ALLAH can separate us. Syg i hope u'll be ok and that wound will heal. Actually i did not immediately sleep after talking to you last night. I am sorry i didnt tell you earlier but i was looking at all the letters,cards sent to you or written by you to Sazali, Fadil and me.....<br /><br />I don't know why but maybe i felt that feeling that you could be having. I actually felt very jealous , coz i can feel how much u luv them and cherish them. I wonder if you love me more than them... coz i read the same words u wrote for them that you wrote for me....<br />I don't know why but i felt kinda threatened at that point of reading. i know i must be silly to be feeling this way... Is there something wrong with me? Have i lose my mind?<br />Always think lowly of myself and i have always think that most of the other guys are better looking than me... since kindergarten i havee been feeling this way... She said i am handsome .. wonder if she really means it or just to make me happy....<br /><br />I don't know lah... all i know is that i wanna be with her..... and i am prepared to fight for her...<br />I want to finish school get and finish NS and get a stable job and stable economy and marry her.<br />I love you so much.... Siti HAzura Efendi... Love Of My Life, Till LIfe in the other World..<br /><br />Daun kelapa, daun selasih,<br />Daun kelapa buat ketupat.<br />Takkan Ku sanggup bercerai kasih,<br />Biarpun dunia atau di Akhirat.<br /><br />p/s: I love you and even though how many times i get frustrated with you, my love never grew less and never stop growing.<br /><br /> Cherish and Love Always, Adi AruZa<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-111803012787580946?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1117591391424616262005-06-01T10:04:00.000+08:002005-06-01T10:03:11.426+08:00<a href="http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/">What Does Your Birth Date Mean?</a><br />Your Birthdate: March 5<br />With a birthday on the 5th of the month you are inclined to work well with people and enjoy them. You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas. You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel. You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable. Your mind is quick, clever and analytical. A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine. You may have a tendency to shirk responsibility<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-111759139142461626?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1117082379086172172005-05-26T12:41:00.000+08:002005-05-26T12:39:39.096+08:00It's been a while since i last updated this thing right here, as i have been busy with work and a am all tired and you noe that school has already started. Besides i am too lazy to type all the long words and stuffs in here... Well i got some things to share and i need to let it off my chest.<br /><br />I have been thinking alot lately.. about work, school, life, family and my Azura.<br />I am thinking like whether i can manage with school.... will i graduate? Will i be able to get a good job in future? Will i earn enuff and save enuff to have my own family in a short time?? Will i be able to be close with my family again like we used to be? Will my father and I finally talk as father with son? Will i be able to live peacefully with my Azura? All these things kept coming back to my head, espeacially after talking to her yesterday.<br /><br />I realised sumthing was wrong because she was not her normal self, and if because she was tired i would understand too cause i know she was. But sumthing deep in my heart tells me that she was keeping sumthing away from me. Then she told me what was going on in her mind.<br />It seems that her mom had second thoughts abt staying with us after we get married in future.<br />Not only that, she had been treated unfairly since she was very young. I was affected of cause in ways more than one. Not only i can't do anything to help, i don't think my presense helped much either. I hope she knows what i told her was for her own good. Whatever that i told her.<br /><br />When i think about it, well even though we r not yet married, i can already feel the pressure. Pressure from both sides. Both fathers would certainly want me to finish school soon, go and be a Government Dog for 2 years and then get a good job and hopely settle down here. You may think that is nothing... But me being the elder son and she being the youngest among her siblings dont make things simple, i got to take up lots of responsibilties. It's not just about feeding 2 mouths and now that this new problem has arised, makes things more complicated.<br /><br />What i thought of doing is that, if her parents don't want to stay with us, well i wont feel upset or bad... Maybe because she thinks we r not good enuff for them to stay with us. I dont mind at all. Planned to stay with my parents instead who i know will take good care of my wife. I know my parents will be proud of her. It is because of her i am a much changed man. It is because of her i still manage to pull through in school. Without her, i am nothing.<br /><br />I love you the way u r baby, but sometimes the way u think and ur actions just irritates me. I hope u dont take it the wrong way. Here is the only way i can share my views and feelings with you as i cant speak to u about all this. Whatever it is, i hope you will be much healthier, more beautiful and then becomes undescribeable and slimmer maybe ( not much, u noe i dont expect much of you newayz) and happier always.<br /><br />I LOVE YOU MY SAYANG, SITI HAZURA EFENDI......<br />Every word I say is True, This I promise U.<br />May Allah bless you with a blissful life,<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-111708237908617217?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1115799639225841762005-05-11T16:20:00.000+08:002005-05-11T16:20:39.246+08:00Hi its me again after a long time as i have been busy with studying for exams, my Drama, my work and also been lazy to type out these words. Well finally i got to read my darling's blog and finally i understand what she is going through all this while. Why she is extra sensitive nowadays. I can also sense that she is sad that i can't accompany her or pick her up from work today coz i am so bloody tired to travel all the way there that my body is really aching a lot. Well Yah it's been 2 weeks since the show was done and i am back to normal, slacking life while waiting fir school to reopen. It's funny that people keep saying that i am strong when actually i am so weak, that i tend to give up easily in life. But that never came. Let me tell you all why. God never wants us to give up in any situations. Secondly, i always think of my parents when i do things, always think of not disappointing them in anything more than i think abt myself when it comes to studies ( stoopid isnt it?) And of coz my Azura... always backing me up in what ever i do. Always there to support me, never let me fall, never let me lose hope, never let me give up on my self, my life . And also thanx to some bitches, and hypocrites that i learnt a lot more about life, about who really cares and who only comes to to you when they desperately need your help. As far as i am concerned, i can still calm down and paly along... But a fair warning to any of you reading this... Dont take me for granted and take my silence as a weakness... Especially to u lil bro, don't keep sneaking in my room and take my stuffs asshole! I am pissed off.. truly pissed off.. Oh one more advice to people out there, when u borrow people money and promised to pay at a specified time please do, coz unless u have a good reason that you can't... THAT SUCKX! Oh yah another things, if you cant't afford a car, don't buy one... and then makes ur family suffers and also bro in law also suffers u asshole! Ok that's all For Now.... Azura, i will try to make it up to u in any way i can ok...? I cant possibly visit u all the time.. i don't even have enough rest at home all these while... But i do miss you aight. I Love yOu dead<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-111579963922584176?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1112254354343341302005-03-31T15:33:00.000+08:002005-03-31T15:32:34.343+08:00It's the last day of school. But rest assured it won't be the same as past years where you can enjoy and juz slack around after everything is up and over with. The fear that i feel, that i have to face and maybe live with all my life. What will happen next is not clear to me. I wonder what will happen to me in a few years time. Whatever i do in life never sems enough, what seems so near but yet so far, what i thought i can reach yet i can't even grab it by the horns. Im waiting for a bigger miracle in my life after Azura came into it. sumthing that will make us both much much happier together. Sumthing we can depend on. Last night was a nother disaster and as always, i am the cause. Should have been more wise and sensitive towards her. I admit i am selfish, thinking that what i feel is more important. I have been thinking about it since the moment i woke up today , it is true that i tried to be the best that i can, but never tried hard enough to be the best for her. My eyes still feel swollen after all that crying. My head still hurts coz of not enough sleep. My heart keeps beating so fast that i can feel it almost jump out of my chest. This thing i will not put to rest, till the day of my eternal rest. The more we quarrel, the more i feel closer to her. I need her more than i ever did last time. I dont know what will i do if i don't have her to be my side, to be my strength, to be my eyes, to be the brain. Man i feel so helpless. I am so useless. Things will change, and i better make sure of that, coz i know she may not say it.. but i am sure she will leave if i dont do sumthing about my pathetic life. I love you more than i love any of those gerls i been with syg even more than i love my own life. Love You Till the day i die. See U tomorrow k? Muackz~<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-111225435434334130?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1111552160355854202005-03-23T12:29:00.000+08:002005-03-23T12:29:20.356+08:00Dark clouds begin to come above my head, nothing can be done and nothing can be said. I tried the best i can the best that i always do, what else can i do? Im beginning to shiver but not due to the coldness surrounding me but i am feeling scared.. it gets worse by the moment, by the days that passed by. What does my future hold? Where do i go from here? Who will i be? What will i be? Cant help feeling sick and stressed.. Wonder will i live long.. Got to know a chilling factor from the radio a few days ago... or was it yesterday? If you dont have enuff sleep for 10 days, it can cause death. Will i survive? I hope so....i cant give up now can i? Not now, not ever.<br /> For myself, For Zura, for my parents and future kids... I gotta move on. Dear ALLAH, please help me go through this life of mine, without much suffering and hardship. Zura i love you....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-111155216035585420?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1110274689992103242005-03-08T17:32:00.000+08:002005-03-08T17:38:09.993+08:00It's been a hectic week, not enough sleep not enough rest and that bitch of a manager who do the schedule put me to work this Friday, What a dreadful week. Cant wait for exams and projects to be over... Hopefully all will be good. Just as soon i can pass this sem i think maybe i will start looking for a new job. Hate that place more and more nowadays. The management really sux to the core. Haizzz... Hopefully the plan to go Batu Pahat in 2 weeks time go down to action. I want to really relax after all the hard work i have to go through. Especially spending time with my syg , Azura. Sorry i wont be able to spend time with you so much in this coming 2 weeks. I love You~.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-111027468999210324?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1109750275304505832005-03-02T15:58:00.000+08:002005-03-02T15:57:55.306+08:00Im dead beat, but that's ok as long as im not dead meat. Finally the circuit works but then not up to the requirement. So while im filling this in, i am also thinking of how do i modify the circuit that the LED will light up when there is low light. I also have 2 other projects that i have to think about. InsyaALLAH , hopefully all my hard work wont go to waste at all. Judgement Day on Monday 7 March.Man i am nervous. How do i get pass this? ALLAH save me plz....<br />Just hope i will do ok in most and the most important ones at least if not all. I need The DAmn DIPLOMA! DIz really can crack me up. I want a better future for us dear and i am doing all the best i can u noe. If U r ReadIng diz, Dear... I Love You Very Much And See You Later OK? I m modifying the circuit shortly after i finish this. Love You Babe~ Don't Walk Away From Me Ok? =(<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-110975027530450583?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1109306934926447872005-02-25T12:48:00.000+08:002005-02-25T12:48:54.926+08:00Its going to be a long day for me yet again. I wasnt really able to explain much about the circuit and i have to make sure that the circuit lights up soon. By hook or by crook i better make it by tonight! I hate myself, shouldnt have slept early yesterday as i didn't even get to do my assessment but then it is quite ok since i dont really know how to do it anyways. But i have to do it under 2 or 3 hrs from now. Have to meet the lecturer to clear my doubts. Every day makes me nervous nowadays. I dont know what the future will hold for me. Im scared i cant go on in life anymore. I miss her alot yes i do, Cant wait to see her again..... I hope i can meet her tomorrow and pick her up.. i hope i wont be that tired after the NaPfa test in the early morning. I really have to work harder and by next week, my fate will be decided. I just hope i wont be crushed. I will call you when i get home syg. Wait for my call ok? Luv ya babey~<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-110930693492644787?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1108953166141058202005-02-21T10:32:00.000+08:002005-02-21T10:32:46.143+08:00Here i am again. Been really a while since i last updated my blog. The last date updated...26th January. Oh My God! Almost a month since. Well in case you still didnt know (Hmmm wonder if anyone else ever read my blog ), i was admitted last 2 weeks for dengue fever. Luckily i was not in there for a week if not i could really die! Lost some weight there but you know how i eat. I gained back all that weight or maybe even more than that... Well yeah this year must be really a hectic year for me with lots of important projects due soon and i must do this. Working hard is a must coz its about my future with Hazura. I need to surf again online on some information and also to look up the template for my report. What a hectic month its gonna be and the worst thing is, my supervisor messaged me and says that i need to do explanation of the circuit when i meet him tomorrow. Oh brother, he really knows when to spoil my day when i am only starting to breath some air. But a promise is a promise and im not gonna break that promise. I will give it my all till the last minute, last second, last breath if you may. I need to take off for the next one month as i need extra time for my projects and preparing for my exams. I just hope that would give me some time to relax a little after school before continuing with my school work. Well , im trying to find time in my buzy schedule to meet her, and yes i am meeting her later. It's hard to be far away from someone you love especially when in time of stress of having so much work piling up and the world seems to be on your shoulders. You know what im tring to say don't you? Well, i just hope i be doing fine, i tend to screw myself up when i am nervous. The quiz was ok, just that the question was not what i expected it to be, but i tried my best, i got most of it done and nothing was left blank so my chances of passing is more like 50-50 or 60-40 ...even if i could pass by just 5 marks or 1 mark is enough for me. I mean, i did try MY BEST to work the whole thing out, if you know what i mean right. Hope she can see that.. Maybe i was nervous and my mind didnt really function like i wanted it to be, but somehow it was quite ok.... Thank god i did not realy screw up. Guess what, i will have at least 3 late nights in a row this week to do my school work. My body certainly going to be aching by the end of the week, plus i will be having the NAPFA test this Sat, and it's going to be so early in the morning, Well that's all for now, i dont want to bore you with my long stories, Going to lecture later at 11. SO sayang if you are reading this, see you later ok? I miss you loads babe~ Luv Ya<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-110895316614105820?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1106711312850223372005-01-26T11:48:00.000+08:002005-01-26T11:48:32.850+08:00Last night history repeat itself, without of course any one of us wanting it to happen. But it requires a lot of reflection from both sides. Why did i keep doing what i did? Why did she keep doing what she did? Why both of us have to suffer so much in life? Why do we sacrifice a lot for each other? Why? Why? Would she ever know how i will feel? HAve i not know her enough to know better than to repeat the same things without having heartaches? I know i am wrong, guess i am selfish all this while, that is why i cant make people around me happy... My FamiLy, My Friends and last but not least But not least Important... My HAzura. It proves a lot that the one year is absolutely nothing and nothing much to be happy about i guess, not when we still have so much to learn about each other and realise each other's mistakes. I can understand when she said that she dont wanna make her parents be too hopeful, i know she always been scared that things might just really really realluy really go wrong in future. Blame it on our pasts and stubbornness. Maybe i am ego or maybe she just wont admit when she done sumthing, whats clear we r both to blame and we will be together to clear the mess that we made together. If she goes then i am gone too. Just have faith sayang, Hell for eternity is not worth it. Luv does not work that way for us. Our Love is suppose to get us to Heaven. U and me. Luv U Hazura. Lets pray that things wont repeat. I hope now u would somehow understand what i have been through. You may say i dont't care but i know you wont say the same things if you know how i was under the block yesterday. Only God knows each and everytime. <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-110671131285022337?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1106116398019673242005-01-19T14:32:00.000+08:002005-01-19T14:34:35.896+08:00<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" width="400" align="center" border="1" style="color:black;"><tbody><tr><td align="middle" style="color:#66ccff;"><span style="font-size:0;"><b>You Are a Retrospective Soul</b></span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#ffffff"><center><img src="http://www.quizdiva.net/bt/retrospective-soul.jpg" /></center><span style="color:#000000;">The most misunderstood of all the soul signs.Sometimes you even have difficulty seeing yourself as who you are.You are intense and desire perfection in every facet of your life.You're best described as extremely idealistic, hardworking, and a survivor. <br />Great moments of insight and sensitivity come to you easily.But if you aren't careful, you'll ignore these moments and repeat past mistakes.For you, it is difficult to seperate the past from the present.You will suceed once you overcome the disappoinments in life. <br />Souls you are most compatible with: <a href="<a">Traveler</a> Soul</a> and <a href="<a">Prophet</a> Soul</a></span></td></tr></tbody></table> <br /><div align="center"><a href="<a">What</a> Kind of Soul Are You?</a></div> <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-110611639801967324?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1105600262176433142005-01-13T15:10:00.000+08:002005-01-13T15:11:02.176+08:00She seems to be getting more sick . I am so worried. I SMSed her but getting no reply... i wonder what is she doing now.. As usual i am feeling tired especially after sending offf my aunt and her husband at the airport. They should be at Mekkah by now to perform their Haj. Long day today and i hate the stupid person who set this timetable who could have put the lecture and tutorial one after another instead of having another pathetic break. I am all alone and have nothing to do, Well back to her, is she ok? She didn't reply to my last message. Is she like offended about something that was in the message or anything? Syg can u please reply, im really worruied about you , do u ever know that? I want to go down there if you don't reply , even though you would not let me. Syg please? I miss you..... I want to be around you and make you feel better, i can't leave you all alone with you in this state... I love you Zura..... WHere can you be? <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-110560026217643314?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1105425028608459422005-01-11T14:30:00.000+08:002005-01-11T14:30:28.606+08:00Wow... first day of school of yet another new week. Yesterday took MC cause having diarrhoea..is that how u spell it? Haiyah dunnoelah... Today seems so lethargic, cant wait to meet her again, but then there has been change of plans so i dunnoe what we will do after our dinner together. Next week is my term test.. ARGHHHHHH!! Somebody help me... I think i am going crazy liao~ That is why i need my Siti with me, she keeps me sane. We both are the same , we dun have Net at home so have to wait for weekdays lor.. Sian lah in school. My body is still sore. Studies, projects seems to much to handle, if she is not with me i think i would have long time given up by now... Syg I try not to be late later, but r we still taking the Loveghetty thang? Missing You rite now so MUcccHHHH~ Luv u Baby~ <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-110542502860845942?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1105059304663076622005-01-07T08:55:00.000+08:002005-01-07T08:55:04.663+08:00What a waste of my time. I woke up early today but it proves to be a waste cause the class was cancelled. I thought i was late at first. Now here i am doing nothing and feeling sleepy, but thinking of which to study first and i keep thinking of her. Yesterday she wanted to see me, saying that she wanted to give me the cd that she burnt. Besides, we always miss each other that we want to meet everyday.Never did i thought that she got other plans on her mind. She brought me to 77th Street and bought me a bracelet. Its a nice one. I am wearing it now and everytime i look at it, the more i misss her. Well that is why i say, when there is love, other things seem so small. Syg, don't forget k this Tuesday? I cant wait to go out with you again. Long Time never take pic with you...Love you so much syg! <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-110505930466307662?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1104720096854106482005-01-03T10:41:00.000+08:002005-01-03T10:41:36.856+08:00I woke up late today, having not nough time to really absorb what is needed for the quiz. I cant blame anyone else, should have started earlier. I woke up with my body sore, and my head is so heavy that i wish i can just go back to bed. I admit it was my fault, my mistakes that could cost me to get more happiness in life, my love life. If it was not for my past, maybe she would not be feeling so terrible. How i wish i can turn back time, so that we can start it over again... to have a clean start and i dun get attached too many times... But that is all it is, just my wishful thinking. I know words mean nothig if actions dont come along with it. Im not trying to be egoistic but sometimes i dont get it... Why do i always get the blame? Why do i have to always be the one asking myself what i have done and to realise what have i done wrong? Is everything my mistake alone? Maybe it is... and im being punished for it. Having to live with the guilt all my life. <br />There has never been another choice before i got with her. She was not a second choice for me, was not, not and never will be. She would not know that anyway. She keeps comparing , but never see it in a larger view. If that is my mistake, im really sorry, but sorry means nothing to her. She is sick of my appologies. She is sick of me asking what she wants. I never ask for anything for other than not to just expect me to understand her, but for her to understand when is the moment i can break down, when i am easily pissed off, etc. It's ok, it wont matter to anyone, but me. If only God can tell her whats in my heart and my mind which i cant let out to her, in fear that things will get worse in those moments. The quiz was ok but maybe i didnt get the questions right. It sux isnt it. I cant wait for lectures to be over so i can continue with my research in peace and then rush home to change my slippers tha keep squeking before i go down to Woodlands to meet her, my dear. I am missing u rite now, haiz didnt even get to charge my hp. Syg wait for me ok? Im sorry if what ever i said or wrote is wrong but im just telling you how i feel. It's ok if you cant accept it.. I will try harder in order to avoid these things from happening again and again like it is until this morn'.... =( LOve you baby! <br /> <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-110472009685410648?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1104139096805676432004-12-27T17:17:00.000+08:002004-12-27T17:18:16.806+08:00Dec 24 became a disaster for us. All because of my wrong doing. I should have told her about the necklace. I shouldnt have gave her that necklace. It is sumthing i have to live with for the rest of my life. It went on until that we came close to a break up and i was crying and shouting like crazy on the phone. I admit my fault that i dun speak out whatever there is to tell her. So i gotta say that what ever good comes from Him, whatever that is bad comes from me. I so regret everything. I wanted her to throw away the necklace but she still insist on keeping it. How i regret, but regrets are useless for what happened has happened. WHat i need to do now is open up my eyes and keep it mind, that she, same as life is precious. <br />She, same as my family is precious. She, same as once in a lifetime chance, is precious. Don't regret or appreciate it only when it's gone. I knew i almost become crazy that day if she was to go away, and i wont be able to type all this today. For what i know, what's the use if i graduate and get a good job? I wont get married ... In that case i would just take care of my parents till i die. Im such a problematic guy, giving problems to ones i love. WAKE UP U JACKASS! STOP ALL THIS CRAP IN YOUR LIFE!!! Told ya my life has never been the same since i got with her. I know more about life, and life is precious coz i only get to live it once... And i dun wanna live to regret or die with regrets. I m missing her rite now but i gotta stay a while longer for my project. This really sux. I hope she will rest well when she gets home. LUv her so much! Im such a sissy.. Always wanna cry.. Wonder when i will really b strong and stop whining... <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-110413909680567643?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1103697608282514892004-12-22T14:39:00.000+08:002004-12-22T14:40:08.283+08:00It's been two days since we last met. It is not until now that i sit down and think about what she said. What is it that i want to do after NS? Sign up? Get an engineering job or maybe get involved in media? I dont know. Kinda get headaches when i think about it. I dont' wanna think about it yet, need to take things slowly. I hope she can see that, and see me through all this. I really need her so much. I feel so bad for being too busy that i rarely have time for her. I myself cannot wait for this Friday. My first first year anniversary. I cant wait to see what she bought for me and to give my gift for her.. It's gonna somehow like a renewal of vows kinda thing you know? Hehe.. Hope things will get better as we go on. Maybe she will ask why i get stress. Well cause i take it seriously when it comes to our future, when i am not sure of things yet, its bound to happen. I just want the best for us. Hope you are feeling better nowadays, I love you so Much tau Zura. How i wish i can always be around watching over you. <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-110369760828251489?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1103511239499999862004-12-21T14:53:00.000+08:002004-12-20T10:53:59.500+08:00Two days ago we had a fight, well so called. She brought up about the past where my feelings for her was not as strong. She feels sad and low. I do understand, but what is done is done, i rerally regretted for treating her this way. But at least right now what i can say is, that is not the case. I don't play around with her or play around with other girls. I am dead serious about her man, if not i better be DEAD. I have been crying ever since, call me sissy if you want but i am not ashamed to admit that i cry a lot coz it takes a real man to do that. I have been feeing scared that things might or maybe it has already changed for us both. I am at the stage where i can be really paranoid, scared that i would really lose her any time. Up till now as i look into our pics together, i feel scared. Tears would start to roll down my cheeks, i would never want a break up. <br />Not with someone who made me a better person, someone who loves me and worships me, someone who cares so much about me. some one that i cherish so much. She's all i ever have, all that i ever need. I hope she will realise that when she reads this, that she is my LIFE. If she is gone , then my LIFE is gone, in other words im DEAD or BRAIN DEAD. NO matter what about the past is, i m sorry coz i plan to make it up to u. Coming to a year now we r together, things are not the same. I love u so much that i cry when i think of you.To cherish and to hold you all my life. Zura, im sorry... <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-110351123949999986?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1103090473404755102004-12-15T13:52:00.000+08:002004-12-15T14:01:13.403+08:00I got home last night and was waiting for her to reply to my message, but i didn't get any." She must be asleep by now =( " i said to myself. Even though i did promise to call her , i decided to not to, you know to let her have her well deserved rest. Furthermore the phone was used by my idiotic bro who talks till the Sun goes up. Wonder who he talks to. Went to school and now waiting for time to go off and meet her. We r supposed to go to Bugis later, but i got a message saying that maybe she wouldnt want to go there as she is not in the mood. I wonder what realy happened to her. Can hardly wait to meet her, i hope that she will be alright soon. I wonder why she keeps saying that i dont miss her when she dont even know how i am feeling alone at times, when i cant get to talk to her at night. I got all excited at night after work , hoping to have a good talk with her, but she is always tired nowadays. I really miss her so... I messaged her earlier, i hope i am not a distrac tion to her in anyways coz she is still in sch. How i wish i can be with her for at least 4 days per week if not everyday... Just so that she and i can share our troubles and its much easier when you talk to that person who you love personally. I really love you sayang, hope you can see that. Azura, i will make my promises good. See you later sayang, i wont be late. <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-110309047340475510?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1102920982417815542004-12-14T06:54:00.001+08:002004-12-13T14:56:22.416+08:00<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-110292098241781554?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1102920890330555962004-12-14T06:54:00.000+08:002004-12-13T14:54:50.330+08:00It's a new day today, a new week and i just got to find out about my project. Given a choice between hardware and software. The choice is obvious of coz. I learnt from my past mistakes and i dont wanna dat to repeat again. As i am sitting here typing diz, i am doing my research as well. I am determined to do it. Last 2 days we quarrelled again. Not as bad as in the past though. Its normal that we always have misunderstandings and being our stubborn selves .. i admit it's my fault too to foolow my feelings to much. Actually i always try hard not to hurt anyone, especially her. But, its unavoidable. How can i ever make her understand me, even if i express myself. She would think so much about my questions. About my expressions. How can i make her understand that the love that i have for her for over a yr now will never fade with time or fade with questions and remarks. Im sorry if my words are mostly harsh. I sometimes cry when i am alone, thinking about my life, my family and how i cant let go of all that frustrations and hearbreaking feelings. What can i do when there is no where else for me to turn to. She is all that i ever need and only one i have now. The only one who realy knows how i am. But if this goes on, who else can i turn to? Maybe yeah, its true i think too much without doing sumthing about it. But everybody needs a place to let go of their feelings, a shoulder to cry on. I know this sounds sissy, but who cares? This is the way i am! I cry easily , i get angry easily. I am an emotional man. I think that is why i never am really successful,letting my emotions take over my thinking. Does not mean i leave you when i say i need some time alone once in a while. I'm sorry for all the pain and worries i caused you. But believe me its true. i am no longer the guy you used to know. Don't get me wrong here. It's for the better. My love is what keeps me going. My love for my family, for you . All i am hoping for is your moral support and prayers that i will make it and provide for my family. and for you too baby. You are the one that made me a better man. Remember the hug my mom gave you? I think that was her way of saying ' Thank You'. For changing me into a better man.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-110292089033055596?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1102575095878894812004-12-10T06:51:00.000+08:002004-12-09T14:51:35.876+08:00Im so useless maybe im brainless, and its complete madness. Words and thoughts were there, but actions always absent. "Believe in urself Fad. You can do it" Those are the words that i keep saying to myself but things always turn out another way. Dont you ever learn from the past? Better wake up before its too late , and there is no turning back. Seriousness means actions, and do sumthing about it, not just talking crap. This is why i have decided that i will go away for a while to be with myself. Not leaving her alone. Juz need some time to think abt what have i done, why am i the one that she want. I am missing her, guess just too much that its hard to concentrate on studies that i didnt feel like going for lecture. Its my fault, im not strong enough. <br />I will do my best and give my best shot. For you, for me, for us and our future. <br />If you are reading this, i hope you will know im truly sorry. Sayang Zura. <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-110257509587889481?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1102300263074012422004-12-07T14:32:00.000+08:002004-12-06T10:31:03.073+08:00Its a cold morning and i had not sleep a wink, all through the night i sit down and think. Words that u said keep ringing in my head. Realise is what i failed to do at times and it hurts you so much that it hurts myself. Respect is what i lack. Sorry is all i can say. Patience rarely there although i truly wish its there all the way. Lies, are never meant for you. My feelings too, are not lies for you. I truly am sorry, i will go through it all by myself till im proud to say that you are lucky to have me, baby im telling you that it's true. You know i never meant to hurt you and those things i never wish to do to you, my only true boo. I will change one day , and i will go down on my knees to say those words to you. This i promise you. <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-110230026307401242?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1102299670719698552004-12-07T14:22:00.000+08:002004-12-06T10:21:10.720+08:00Last night it happened again. I don't know what is wrong with me. Never could show those people i luv that i truly luv them. Family and my boo the same. I want to let my parents know how much i luv them and appreciate what they have done for me, although they always seem harsh to me. To show that how much luv my gerl that i do some crazy things juz to be with her. My hardcore problem seems to be not to be able to hold on to promises constantly... I don't mean to hurt you.. Those things are what i never want to happen to you. Everytime it happens, i juz sit down and think and cry. Thinking about my future, your future. How capable am i to keep someone so special happy? Only time will tell. But trust me when i say this. Thats what i always want for her. I never like her to cry because i did something wrong because im not worth it. Instead let me cry for u Zura, coz every drop of my tears is worth it if its for you. <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-110229967071969855?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1102060731158405582004-12-04T07:44:00.000+08:002004-12-03T16:27:08.290+08:00<img src="http://tinypic.com/u0ahz" /> <br />My mind seems to be blank and my heart keep beating very fast. What is happening to me? I gave my boo a call immediately after i got back from work this morning. No one answered. Tried again, this time she picked up but she was too sleepy to even realise that i called her. Called her again at ard 6 a.m but was not lucky to get to her. I had not slept the whole time, thinking that i would send my parents who were going away on a trip. Didnt realise that she called me and msged me numerous time till the time i got in the bus. I was happy to hear her voice, but then something that she said really makes me sad. " After u finished talking to some other girls then u wanna call me." My heart just sank when those words came on to my ears. But i cant blame her. She just find it hard to trust me. She never did. All i am asking for is for people to understand and trust me. Im not some kinda ex convict that u have to monitor and can hardly trust me ya know... Thats not really what's on my mind right now... My life changed further after that one to one talk with her old man. I went home sat down and think. "If you wanna go thru all the way, u better werk harder man." That is absolutely true, especially after the "screaming incident". I became the bad guy and was accused of just acting. I may be an actor but i certainly m not acting or playing ard when matters of the heart is corncerned. as im sitting and typing my thoughts, i am still thinking of my dear wifey. Wonder what she is doing, and im sure she didnt have much to eat. If u are reading this dear. Just wanna say that im sorry if i keep keeping simple things from you, and i wanna tell you how much i love you and i am missing u so much... Azura...Kau lah sinar hidup ku. <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-110206073115840558?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9441255.post-1102059588251113552004-12-04T07:39:00.000+08:002004-12-03T16:29:03.676+08:00<img src="http://tinypic.com/u0apt" /> <br />Since the day that i got attached with her, my life seems to have changed in one way or another. It was a new beginning , another chapter of my life.I am no longer the guy that maybe some used to know. No longer the person who don't talk much with strangers. What brought the change in me? I still just couldnt point a finger to what makes her really special to me. Someone who i keep missing even before i go to sleep, or maybe fall asleep while thinking of the one who made me a better man. The feeling of so much love for her is still within me. Dear i miss you so. <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9441255-110205958825111355?l=hazuly.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Aqashahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17466402918551908974noreply@blogger.com0